Bemused to find myself in March. Wasn't it just January? Dan will be 7 on Tuesday and this year I bit the bullet and blew £120 on a party for him at our local laser gun place. Had some misgivings but actually turned out to be worth every penny. They provide invites, food, drink, party bags and obviously the laser games. All we had to do was turn up with Dan and the cake and hang out for 2 hours, supervise the pizza and ice cream eating and then come home. No setting up, no balloons, no tidying, no washing up. Definitely what I would call a win. The staff were brilliant, really understanding when 2 of Dan's friends didn't turn up (I had to text to find out if they were coming and one didn't even bother to contact me at all!) and didn't charge us. We'll be there every year!
First organ lesson last Wednesday which was nerve racking but brilliant. I feel I am slowly getting bits of me back that I had lost.
Church was difficult today. My mum's attitude to me over my life has been something that I had learned to deal with, ignore or make excuses for. Unfortunately at the age of 36 I have had the realisation that there are no more excuses to be made. That this is a wound I've been carrying around for a very long time and now I need to deal with it so I can be a good mum myself. Laurie's sermon today was the equivalent of sticking a long sharp needle right into the middle of this wound, as though lancing a blister, and emotionally I'm still reeling from it. My plan is to go and spend some quality time with the organ tomorrow and work through how I feel.
Hubby and I have been watching our way through season 5 of Castle and for the first time in ages I have the urge to write. The urge but not the time!
And finally. ..
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